Natasha Slater is back on Swide, but this time she isn’t here to reveal her favourite Milanese haunts or what music you should be spinning at your next fashion bash, no. If you’ve got a problem that you can’t seem to find an answer to or you’ve been holding on to a secret but want to shout it out loud without people knowing who you are, then Natasha is here to help with her Love Confidential. This week, unrequited love from a Summer someone.
You know how everyone else is starting to feel the heat around this time of year, well, for me; the Summer sun just leaves me feeling cold. I too, am from Italy and August is the time of year when I vacate the city and visit my family. Each year, I do the same thing; do my own thing for a week or two outside of Italy and then head south to visit the family for the remaining time. It sounds lovely, no? Well, what has been keeping the Summer cool the last few loves is unrequited love. There is a guy from my hometown who I’ve known since I was young. We were never in the same class or anything but we lived relatively close to each other. He wasn’t anything special at school but I remember him being one of the nicest guys on the football field. As the years have passed and we grew up and moved away, something clearly happened to him because, my god, he is quite the handsome hotty these days, and it’s been the last few years that my love has been silently bubbling up with each passing Summer. Our conversations are brief, but there is nothing like watching him walking out of the water, like some James Bond wanna be, dripping wet and firmly walking across the beach to his towel. (Which I’ve taken to moving further and further away from the sea so that I can watch him walk for longer… believe me, I’m joking.) So, my problem is this; Last year, I returned home to discover that he was dating a local girl, who I also know from school, and when I am back I don’t spend anytime with him, like we used to. We used to be quite tactile with each other, being quite playful, when together. Even my mother commented on us, saying that we were perfect for each other. He knows I like him but we decided that we live too far away to act on anything… but I was always hoping for a Summer fling with him. Well, it looks like that wont happening any way. What made things worse is that, last year, towards the end of the holiday, he phoned me, telling me that he urgently needed to talk to me… naturally, my heart was a flutter and thought that he was going be my fling. Nope, he wanted to tell me that he is worried that his new love didn’t like him as much as he did her and, since then, he’ll contact me for advice… COME ON! What do I do? Slowly plant the seeds of doubt about his relationship, hoping that he’ll call it off with her? Could I do that to him? Help.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dear Loveless lady,
I feel for you, I really do. How heartbreaking it must feel to see the guy that seems to tick all the right boxes, shacking up with a local lass and leaving you high and dry. And kudos to you for not looking for anything too heavy, knowing that this situation wouldn’t have worked out regarding distance, very forward thinking of you. But, I have to ask, do you think that once you had had a taste of what it was like to be with him, you could have kept it as just a Summer fling? You mentioned the words love and, from my experience, when love is teased with pleasure, it’s often that the love spills over and becomes uncontrollable. Maybe, as much as it is sad to say, this local lass is actually doing you a favour and forcing you to keep your hands to yourself. Are you a believer of fate? Maybe this is fate stepping in to save you from heartache. I’m sorry, I’m sure this is not the advice that you were looking for but I really believe that you would come out of this being hurt. Summer flings are all well and good but someone always ends up getting hurt and tears will be shed. Save yourself the heartache, be a good friend to him and, who knows, maybe circumstances will change in the future, BUT don’t you instigate them purposefully. This way, when things to turn in your favour, you can pride yourself on always being the good friend, giving him more confidence in you. You see what I mean? Nah, you’re too busy thinking about him strutting across the beach, aren’t you girl? Come back down to reality. You can do this. I have faith.