If there is one thing no-one tells you about being backstage at a catwalk show is how to handle the call of nature…What are guaranteed to be on hand are orchids, canapés and far too many beautiful models, but bathrooms/ladies rooms/ loos are for some reason never within range.

Clutching my security badge (backstage you’re nothing without this) I was directed to a series of dead-ends/false stairs/cupboards until in desperation I arrived at the caterer’s room. With an actual job to do at some point I had no option but to politely ask the very busy team to use their loo. Certainly not behavior worthy of a muse or a lady.

Slight detour over I headed for my legitimate (and preferred) direction…the VIP room - a hallowed salon where celebrities wile away their time before taking their coveted front row seats at the show… the room ia a MUST-peek destination and where I have to capture some ‘exclusive’ backstage footage. Where to start apart from with a glass of champagne obviously?

Loitering by the bar (so obviously not an A-lister I get NO-one's attention) and instead raise the suspicion of the security. Realize I should start wafting my TEMP badge around to avoid any humiliating confrontations. My feet hurt and my cameraman has failed to materialize. No sightings of Mr. G yet but am still very proud of my new laminated Dolce & Gabbana badge, even though it is stamped with the word temporary (??) - feel like one of the family, albeit a second cousin. Upset that no-one has given me the DG Crew Backstage t-shirt though...

Fergie is my first celebrity interview. I’ve missed my opportunity with Naomi who has already disappeared (unfortunately when I was on the loo) to prep for her cameo on the catwalk and Pharrell (my future husband) who is providing the soundtrack is not around. Unrequited love ☺ Plus I was wearing heels. A very courteous and cool Fergie answers all my questions (why did they sound so unteresting when I read them out loud??). I think if I were her I’d much rather assert my VIP power and hunt for David Gandy backstage.

Nipping out at behindtheseamsgirl@gmail.com