Swide Magazine by Dolce&Gabbana

Valentine's typically is the kind of holiday we love to despise - though we would feel gutted should our special ones neglect to celebrate it. Our selection of gifts is the perfect compromise:silly enough to appeal to the cynic, special enough to please the hidden romantic.

 

The Vampire Seduction Book-A Guide to the Ultimate Romantic Adventure

Hollywood’s fascination with vampires has clearly passed onto the masses. So, it comes as no surprise that a how-to vampire seduction book has surfaced. The guide covers everything from how to make that initial “woman-vampire” connection to how to cope with marrying one. This book would make for a wonderful valentine gift for that girl who’s over the mortal type, which is clearly so last year.

'Control your Man' Talking Remote

We all know that asking a man for more than a word response on any topic is a word too much. The ‘Control your Man Talking Remote’ comes with 18 pre-programmed phrases like, “time to listen” and “whoa, ever heard of foreplay”. Get what you want this Valentine’s with the control of a button.

'Control your Woman Talking Remote

Don’t worry guys, we haven’t forgotten about you. We bring you the ‘Control your Woman Talking Remote’ with features similar to the previously mentioned, but with female-aimed phrases. The phrases vary from “ feed me” and “yeah baby do that again”.

Boyfriend Body Pillow

Long-distance relationships are really hard to sustain when you’re constantly longing for that distant lover. For most women, the best part of having a boyfriend is the never-ending supply of cuddling. The Boyfriend Body Pillow is aimed at making neglected girlfriends feel like their boyfriends are near.

Fred 2-Carat Gold Cup

Whether you aim is to hint towards engagement or you merely want joke with your partner, the Fred 2-Carat cup will surely get a raise out of him. The rare mug is made out of white porcelain and sparkles with a Swarovski crystal.

Old Tom Foolery Valentine's Day Card

Roses are red, violets are blue…there must be other ways to say, “I love you”. The people behind
Old Tom Foolerey bring you some unconventional Valentine’s Day greeting cards, some reading “I love you-statement only valid if you say you love me back”.

Takara Tomy Ramen Soap & Sponge

With this next gift, we suggest adding a label that reads, “not meant for consumption”. It may look like your next quick lunch, but the Takara Soap and Ramen Sponge is actually meant for bathing. We all know chocolates are an aphrodisiac, but what about the sweet aroma of noodles against your moist skin?

Diptyque limited edition "Marrons Grillés" scented candle

Aren't candles lovely and romantic? Oh the sweet smell of rose and jasmine... If you're longing for a little alternative romance then a Roastched Chestnuts candle shall do the trick.

Love By Kilian

If underneath it all you secretly relish in the so very commercial Valentine's atmosphere - then here is a more substantial and serous gift that also reads like the prettiest of declarations. Uber exclusive French maison By Kilian's hit candyfloss like scent, rather simply titled "Love". Heaps better than a lame last minute excuse for a bunch of flowers!

 

Source and credits: Various.

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