Swide Magazine by Dolce&Gabbana

These days it's increasingly likely you'll next be sitting down to a smiling meal. Are we so shallow we need style over substance even in our plates?

All this talk of all the gloom and doom surrounding us (swine flus are spreading, economies are failing to recover, celebrities are tripping over their stilettos on stage...) may have made us a rather miserable bunch but do we really need to rely on our food to give us warmth and kindness? As much as a sugar baby riding a giant carrot may smile at you it will be of little help outside the "stuffing your face into feeling comforted" area.

 

 There *actualy* are cakes in the shape of babies riding giant carrots... (Check cakewrecks.com for more!)

 

The tsunami of cute is noticeable in other areas (think online videos of kittens hiding in shoes and other such joys enjoyed by the 100,000 daily visitors of websites like Cute Overload... as if that was ever a good thing!), but cute foods are rather emblematic of the current regression. See for yourselves the crowds marvelling over multi-coloured sprinkles and darling sugar icings at cupcake temple the Magnolia Bakery in NYC. Okay so Carrie Bradshaw likes them but then the childishness was always part of her charm; is it equally adorable when Martha Stewart holds "cutest cupcakes" contests? Somehow we're dubious...

 

Some contestants went to great lengths to get Martha's attention... But please don't eat the puppy!

 

In these new debilitating times, cutegasm is the new orgasm. Who needs sexy when entire days can be spent cooing over little doggies… Who’s a cute little doggie, who’s a… Don’t worry we’re just faking this cutegasm. The thing with cute is it’s a fine line between adorable and plain creepy. How hungry are you for constipated-looking Obama sushi rolls? We’ll pass Mr President, thank you.

 

 

Bamaki Obama... We sure would eat you up Mr President, but maybe some other time...

 

Cute overload making you sick to your stomach? Take a cue from foul-mouthed kitchen sexpot Gordon Ramsay (if food was ever sexy...) with linguine alle vongole: “The linguine with clams and tomatoes is perfect for that first dinner… candlelight, a bottle of wine, seductive music and beautiful, silky linguine. It’s a really sexy thing to eat, picking out the sweet, juicy clams with your fingers”… Getting a little graphic there… Oh Gordon, do please try to keep it in your pants.

 

 

Oh those sweet juicy clams... Nothing cute about Gordon!

 

All that being said... who finished all the Elmo cupcakes?

 

Aurelie Bellavigna

 

Sources: Vanity Fair, Epicute

Photo credits: Various

TAGS: food cute cute food cupcake gordon ramsay linguine alla vongole epicute cake wrecks