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Post Women's Fashion Week

Posted Mar 12, 2011

Milan is good for 3 things (in order of importance): Men's fashion week, H&M sales... and women's fashion week. How can you survive women's fashion week?

Men’s Fashion Week transforms every girl into a nomad; staying out for days, hopping from one [filthy] hotel room to another and spending hours outside of metro stops helping the Lost Boys “find their casting.” 

Women’s Fashion Week is a time when, unless there’s an emergency, (house fire, Lady Gaga concert), you’re better off locked in your room.

Women’s Fashion Week makes even the hottest girls start questioning [loathing] themselves. All confidence is lost and trying to “dress up” makes it worse; your kilo of makeup and 15 cm heels can’t compete with the sweatpants and flip-flops on That Teenage Slovakian so you may as well be wearing a trash bag. Unfortunately, some of us can’t stay home an entire week. Some of us have school, jobs and drinking habits. I happen to be one of these people so I’ve come up with some tips to get through Women’s Fashion Week without suffering a nervous breakdown: 

-Don’t Hate:  It’s stupid to resent models for their flawless skin and endless legs [resent their parents instead]. When experiencing negative [violent] thoughts, just remember their agency got them a soiled apartment near Maciachini and they’re called “fat” more often than you are.
-Be Positive:  Remember your best qualities! In times of self-doubt remind yourself of how well you hold your liquor, that you’ve memorized each line from “Skins” and the guy you’ve been stalking on Facebook finally poked you back.
-Stay Busy: To avoid dwelling on your “extra 10 kilos” you must keep yourself occupied. Catch up on celebrity gossip, paint your nails, call ex-boyfriends and try to get wasted.

 

TAGS: dolce&gabbana dolce & gabbana d&g d & g online luxury magazine tea Tea Hacic-Vlahovic punks wear prada columnist milan hollywood zara colonne di san lorenzo kanye west pr gossip cruel world mondo trasho dj mens fashion week mfw womens fashion week milano gnova vintage market aperitivo h&m flawless women's week