Swide Magazine by Dolce&Gabbana

“Italian Men are so hot, are you crazy, how can you live there and not notice?” told me a friend. Well, I didn't because to me seeing the Italian hotties everyday meant noticing their gigantic flaws. Italian fling, maybe, Italian boyfriend, not.

Unless they are like Marcello Mastroianni. For him I would let myself endure all sorts of Italian Men-tality.

All of my exported girlfriends are here with an Italian boyfriend. I never really fell for the spell. At last I settled on a half-half. Like cream, it's the best.

 
Guy Robinson in Dolce&Gabbana Tailoring
However my decision was much studied, as everything else that I do. Research is fundamental.

So here is a list of the 10 I really can't stand about Italian Men, some might associate these flaws with charm, I say sometimes it's better to avoid the assimilation.

1. Great manners which can fool you: right girls, of course depending on where you come from this is either exagerated or absolutely true. Say you are from the Netherlands you might think they have great manners, if you are Spanish this quality doesn't impress you much. However it is true that if you have been attention-less for some time, or live in the US for a couple of years, someone actually paying the bill or holding the door might do the job. Acthung! These are only pre-studied behaviors to get you to bed without a pre-notice.
2. Folded underwear: or “Mammone”. If upon arriving at an Italian man's house you notice his laundry smells better than yours, watch out for “Mamma”. The Gentleman might not drive you home after he has achieved his goal, but he will certainly take time of his busy week to bring his laundry to Mamma.
3. VAIN: that is my absolute favorite one. It is true. From the Jersey Shore immigrants who sport this attitude bowing to their Italian ancestors, (they are called “Guidos” for a reason) all the way to the eyebrow shavers here in Italy, there is a whole new range of vanity. Italian men are conceited? Yes, my friends. If you can live with that kind of ego and mirror-obsession go ahead. I'll skip. One time an Italian actor (unfortunately I can't reveal his name and put him to shame) recited an entire theatre act in front of me just to hear himself talk. Needless to say, I (the girl) wasn't too happy with this.
4. One of my girlfriends pointed out infidelity: I think it's a bit out of date... I think Italian girls like the drama and Italian men give it to them. Long lunch hours are not in schedule anymore.

 
Guy Robinson, Sebastian Lund, Nikola Jovanovic, Julien Quevenne in Dolce&Gabbana Tailoring.

5. Il Calcio. Yet, not only Italians are obsessed with it, but here in Italy there is a whole new level of obsession. To Italian men watching soccer is like having an orgasm, something that doesn't happen to a dude watching American Football.
6. They are LOUD. Or they talk too much. I can't, and don't want to, go through this kind of torture.
7. They never grow up. I single handedly had to avoid the 20-35 years old category for years because they still lived with their parents.
8. Now I feel bad, because they are not all so bad, but hey this article is to stress the flaws. What can I do... A passion for bright colors and tight jeans.

 
Guy Robinson, Julien Quevenne, Sebastian Lund, Nikola Jovanovic Dolce&Gabbana Tailorin.

9. Italian men can be divided in two major categories: the ones you see at Pitti Uomo and think oh that's a gentleman nice /grandpa outfit Agnelli style at age 20, and the ones that kinda wear streetwear like a girl on a Roman beach.
10. It's love all the time. Liars. It's not their fault, it's somehow impossible for them to admit that it's a one night stand. Call them romantic.

In the end (Yes, Italians Do "it" Better).

Signed by Anonymous Bed-Hopper Unable to Reveal her Identity for Obvious Male-Related Reasons.

 

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