In the mood for “I thought I had seen it all”, I must say “but I haven’t done it all”. In the land of desperate single women fighting on the dating scene, fans ask wardrobe tricks that could seduce even a dead man.
Dating Lessons from Dolce & Gabbana
From: Going out on a Date
Subject: I need an outfit
I haven’t been on a date in like two years, and finally a friend of mine talk to a friend of her friend and I now I am going out on a double date (better than 0 date) with a guy I don’t know. I know you guys at Dolce know a lot about seduction and sexy stuff. I was wondering if you could HELP me figure out an outfit and give me some advice on how to act sexy and stuff. I have been saving money since summer to buy the perfect date outfit: not too slutty, but kinda slutty so I don’t look too serious and boring and virgin like, classy and trendy yet not like grandma with pearls. Oh, yeah, I should tell you about me: I am a size 14 (UK) not sure what it is in Italian. I am 6’4 and have red curly hair. I have a simpatico face.
Love you guys,
Going out on a date girl
To: The (finally) going out on a date girl
Subject: Dry Cleaning
Dear Miserable Human Being,
thank you for not attaching a picture to your desperate e-mail. I might have spit out my coffee, and I don’t really like that to lend on my Dolce&Gabbana star print FW 2012 lovely shirt – having to be sent out to the dry cleaners on a weekend! In case you wanted to ruin my dates as well.
I will, however, try to have some simpathy and give you some suggestions:
A. You are right a Dolce&Gabbana dress could increase your inexistent sex appeal by 250% – it is called a miracle my dear, and we don’t see many of those these days. Therefore note the suggestions our indoors stylist made for you.
B. Always hide behind the friend who is letting you tag along on her date (a saint btw), there is a reason why she got a date in the first place and you don’t.
C. To return me the favor (of not doing the quick wash on you) you must please answer this question that will in the end kill me if left it without an answer?
How/where on earth did you end up being such a looser and lived through the humiliation of no one wanting to hang out with you?
Uncoolness is of real concern to me, and I think from now one I will run a Mini-Laundrette especially for people like you. You have found your savior.
Write to the Mini-Laundrette for style tips on crisis situations.
For Further style infor visit Swide’s Style Section
Tagged with: #GOSSIP
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