From: Not keen on romance
To: a little helper desk
Subject: Charade

 To the editors: I have been very disappointed to realise your site has indulged in the cutesy pink Valentine's frenzy and why keep the myth alive that relationships and men can ever fulfill you when we know full well buying a cute pair of shoes can do so much more efficiently. Why entertain the stereotype of weak, shallow women surrounded with men and thoughts of them; frankly this is rather disappointing coming from what I had wrongly assumed was a team of fairly bright young folks...

 

From: better things to do
To:  Why so bitter?
Subject: Re: Charade (such a cute, romantic film!)

Dearest cynic,

We are very sorry that your love life hasn't quite worked out the way you planned it when you were a seven year-old princess. Why not release all that pent-up frustration using a more creatlive outlet such as pottery (oh that classic Ghost moment, isn't it uber romantic?) or ballroom dance (getting a total flashback of our cherished and highly missed Swayze dancing away with Jennifer Grey, SUCH a cute couple).

 

Lots of love and kisses and hugs,

A Little Helper Desk. 

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From: Mistaken in love
To: a little helper desk
Subject: The one

 Hey Swide! Really liked your Noah interview. I was wondering if you could perhaps give me his number as I am convinced we are meant to be plus my best friend read my cards and told me there was a tall dark man in my future with a creative side and he's like this actor which is totally creative and I just know deep in my heart he's the one. Thanx so much Swide, xoxo **********.

 

From: better things to do
To: Mistaken in love
Subject: The actual one

Dearest mistaken reader,

We appreciate your enthusiasm and convinction but as far as we know the One is and always has been Matthew McConaughey - happily married and a proud father which would make those card predictions a little unlikely. On the other hand we know of a young Bateleur, tall and dark, who may or may not be single but hey it's worth a shot!

 

Best regards,

A Little Helper Desk. 

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From: Your biggest fan
To: a little helper desk
Subject: Love you!

 Just wanted to write to say I love Swide and I'm sending a homemade Team Swide t-shirt through the post so please give me your address and then if you could send any garment or pair of shoes or item you've got lying around (preferably Dolce & Gabbana) then please feel free to send it my way.

 

From: better things to do
To: Cheeky monkey
Subject: Re: Love you!

 Dear lover,

Why clutter our lives with all things material - love love love, love is all you need! (Aka nice try, maybe next time.)

 

Best regards,

A Little Helper Desk.